so i dont really no why im writing this, and i dont expect anyone to read it. I’ve just come to a point where i need to let everything out before i literally go insane. A lot has happened to me in the past year that has changed me completely. Im not who i used to be anymore, and the truth is i dont even know who i am. I go to school everyday and just pretend that im a happy little girl but im not. I hate that place and most of the people there. Everyone is just fake and its starting to wear off on me. I come home and once again im pretending im okay. I lock myself in my room and just cry for hours on end. The other day i was home alone and i literally had to call my friend to come over because i didnt no what to do. I layed in her arms and just cryed, i couldn’t speak, couldn’t move i couldnt do anything. i no this all sounds stupid but the reason im like this is because of a boy. This boy was such a big part of my life for a year and a half and i lost him. One day we were happy and the next day he was gone. apparently it was the “best for both of us” but i know it wasnt. I hate myself for changing for him but i did, and during that time i completely lost myself. I lost who i used to be, i miss being danielle footman, but im not going to hide it, i loved him.
I have two people in my life who i can trust ryley and tegan. My only true friends who i can depend on. These two are my life and i have no idea where i would be without them. I guess i take our friendship for granted, im always rude to them and i sure as hell dont deserve them. I literally have no other friends who i can count on to be there everyday. Im hated by so many people and i used to be okay with that, but im not anymore. I see all my old bestfriends around school and i just look at them and remember how happy i was, i miss them. For the first time in my life im behind in school, i literally do nothing besides sit there. I dont do my homework anymore and i dont pay attention in class. Thats not who i am, im better then that. So tumblr people if anyone is actually reading this, im not okay, im not o fucking kay.